The Language of Desire

The Language of Desire


“Talk dirty to me,”

he said on our one year anniversary…

We were in bed, making love. I felt a rush of panic in my chest.


“Tell me how you feel…,” he grunted again.

And I felt my mouth go dry. My heart racing as I panicked and my mind went totally blank.

What did he want me to say?

What did he want me to do?

It was a little after 2 in the morning when I woke up and found the bed empty.

And then I heard a sound that sent a chill through my whole body…

female voice. Moaning.

My palms sweaty, I crept around the corner and saw him…

Sitting at the computer naked… Touching himself.

We’d just made love a few hours before but here he was masturbating and watching PORN

Why would you need to watch porn when you’ve got a real woman right there?

I just couldn’t look away… And then I looked at Kevin’s face and saw…

smile like I’d never seen before.

In a year together I’d never seen him look so happy and masculine and satisfied

I know I don’t have to tell you how worthless and ugly I felt…

I acted like I was asleep when he came back to bed.

Like I’d been asleep the whole time, burying my face in the pillow so he wouldn’t see the tears.

I could do one of three things

1  I could ignore that this ever happened

2  I could confront him

3  Or I could make the choice I did                                                                              learn  the secret fantasies 

I fired up my laptop the next day excited at what I was going to learn…

But quickly I got frustrated… And then disgusted

So I went on a mission to find out the truth

The next few months were a thrill and a rush of revelations…


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